Merry Christmas to you

December 25, 2012

Merry Christmas Darrell,

I know that you wanted a “Handwritten” note for Christmas, but I was very concerned that you would not be able to read my terrible handwriting.  So, I have chosen to type a letter to you instead so that way you can ascertain the meaning of all of the awesome letters that are spliced together to form words that have special meanings.  (Ahem, did you get all of that?)

I am glad that you and your sister requested a special letter.  I had been wondering for a long time if this is something you would really want.  I did not realize what a challenge it would be to write all of the wonderful things about you though.  It really is a challenge, but mostly because there are so many amazing things to write and I just want to be sure that I cover them all – because, what would happen if I left something out?  Of course, some things will have to be left out because I don’t really have time to write an entire novel, right?  RIGHT!?!?

So, getting back to the point of the letter - Darrell, my only boy, you are such an amazing person and spirit.  Each and every day you do something new that makes me proud that you are my son.  Having you as a part of my life has been one of the best gifts that I could have ever received.  I love to make lists, and I love being your mom – so I am going to take a moment and list all of the things that I can think of right now that make you an important person to me.  If something gets left out I hope that you can forgive me for forgetting – I am getting a little bit older you know.

Thank you, Darrell, for always being compassionate.  It’s important to care for others and you do this so very well, always taking time to pay attention to the way that people around you are feeling.  As you grow I hope that you will remember to always be kind to others.  You have a poster in your room that says “It’s nice to be important, but it’s more important to be nice.”  You do this so well, and the words on the poster are truer than I can really express here.  It is more important to be nice because when you are kind to others you will find that they are kind back to you.  You will develop friendships and relationships that are invaluable if you make certain to always be compassionate and kind to others – a talent that you already are so very good at.

Thank you so much for your sense of humor; it is one of the best gifts to give others.  The gift of your laughter and jokes – they help me to smile when I am being overly serious.  I love your sense of humor so very much. 

Thank you for being smart, but more importantly, thank you for not being stupid – I appreciate that you take the time to try to think through things and figure things out.  I will admit that you do not think the same way as me all the time, but you are young J you will get there.  Besides, you just need to remember that not everyone thinks exactly the same, and just because we don’t always agree on how to think does not make you wrong or even me wrong – it only makes our ways of thinking different, which can only improve the world around us. 

Thank you for always being polite, opening doors and being respectful to others.  This is an art that is slowly being lost in the world and by you always being polite and gracious; you are only making the world a better place to live and I love living in a world that has you in it.

 

Thank you for not being afraid to sing and dance in front of other people – these are true joys in life and I hope that you will always hold on to this side of your personality.  Never let anyone tell you that you cannot sing or cannot dance – you may not make it onto American Idol or anything like that, but one of the great joys of this life is music and feeling it course through your soul through Singing and Dancing, and I hope that you will always do both of these things.

Thank you for being artistic and sharing that ability with others.  Remember that when you look at art that others have done, try to see what they were trying to accomplish with their creation – and when you create, make sure that you tag your own personal message to it.  Part of the joy in life is finding the hidden messages that were meant just for us. 

Thank you for finding ways to make others smile.  Thank you for trying your best all the time and for giving the best hugs that a mom can get from a wonderful boy such as yourself.

Thank you for making the effort to try to find positives in each event of each and every day.  I know that this can be very hard and frustrating, but I can tell you that by finding the positives your life will BECOME positive more and more.  You should never let the negative get the best of you – there is far too much of that in this world to waste your precious time on it.  Remember to never say “Never” (And not like Justin Bieber either) because life is way too full of surprises to know anything for certain.  (After all, the world did NOT end last Friday – TOTALLY unexpected!)

Thank you for always taking responsibility for your own actions.  It makes me proud that when you make a mistake you can own up to it.  Thank you for not making promises that you don’t keep – you are a very honorable individual and that will serve you well in your life as you grow and accomplish the goals that you have set out for yourself.

And just a few things that I hope that you will remember as you get older – Always be yourself; who else is better qualified?  No one.  Be original, because copy-cats are boring.  Remember that your Faith and Religion is a personal choice.  Do not just believe something just because other people tell it to you, and I hope you continue to not judge other people for not believing the same way as you; not just in religion but in lots of topics.  You are very good at not judging others, but I really hope that you stay that way.  Remember that you will never be able to please everyone, so do what is most important to you by the dictates of your conscience and try to be as nice as you can to those that your choices may displease.  Remember that you can do anything you want to in the life as long as you are willing to work hard for it – and whatever choice you make, you will always have your family behind you to support that choice.

I know that I will always think of you with so much love and pride for the boy that you are and the man that you are becoming.  You are the finest young man that the world will ever know and I am grateful that you are a part of my life.  Nobody - and I mean NOBODY - in this whole world will ever love you or believe in you as much as your mom does.  Ever.  I love you so very much and I hope that you have the best Christmas!  Enjoy Each and Every Moment!

You are your own person -

Recently it has come to my attention that my little nugget of fun seems to put himself down when trying to accomplish a task that takes him extra time.  The project is fussed over, large "Sighs" are heard from the next room, and finally - the resigning comment of "I just can't do this" (Or something similar) exits his mouth.  I pondered this for a long while.  Where does this attitude come from?  This "Feeling" like we have to do something the same way that everyone else does it?  This has always perplexed me - so today I wanted to address this issue.

My Dear D-Man - I don't know of how many ways to express this to you but I hope that one day it finally sinks in.  You are your own person and this means that you are going to have your own set of unique experiences and perspectives that no one else will have.

Too often have I heard, "I don't know how do do that." Or "I could never do that myself" - when in fact, you can.  It's all a matter of putting forth the effort - not just the desire to try, but genuine effort.  You might not get it right the first time, the second time, the third or the fourth time, but at SOME time you will accomplish that which you have set out to do.  Never, Never, Never give up.

For example, I have always been the type of person to rely on using recipes.  I don't seem to be able to cook anything by throwing a dash of this and a pinch of that into a pot to make a glorious meal.  I watch people on the Food Network in awe at their amazing abilities and think to myself that I wished I could do that.  What's funny is, I don't have to do it their way - I can still make a great dish, but for me to make it work I have to follow the recipe.

My recipe won't be the same, but the outcome of my dish will be just as delightful.  Your recipe on life will not be the same as anyone else's but it is your own, and as long as you make the most of what you have been given, you will come out with glorious experiences and insights that no one else will have.  As long as you try, and try again sometimes, you will continue to learn and grow and when you look back you will see where you used to be and where you have moved to.  You won't see it at first, but over time with trying you will notice the difference.  I hope that you never compare your own life journey with someone else's - because it doesn't have to be like their journey.  It's your very own gift to make the most of.

The Reason

You know, there is this song called "The Reason" - by a gawd-awful name for a band called Hoobastank.  Seriously, I will never understand why anyone wanted to call a band "Hoobastank" - but the song is pretty good.  I sing along to it every time it's on the radio. 

Anyway, The first line of the song is "I'm not a perfect person, there's many things I wish I didn't do."  There are also many things that I wish that I HAD done.  A while ago I saw this idea, from a mother to her daughter.  Really, it's a very sad story - the mother was dying from cancer, and her daughter was fairly young.  The mother made videos every day of the things that she wanted her daughter to know.  Things about her, about life in general, about how she wanted her daughter to be and the kind of person that she wanted her daughter to become.  I loved this idea, but I realized a serious flaw - um, I am not dying of cancer.  SO, why in the world would I make a blog for my daughter about all of those things when she is right here with me and I don't plan on going anywhere anytime soon.  Then, I started thinking "Why would I not also do this for my son?  I mean, he would like to hear my advice too, right? um... I hope?"

As it turns out life is pretty short.  No one knows when their time is going to come.  I could be killed from influenza or in a head on collision (OR that nasty fish that I ate last night) and that would be it for me.  What would I have left to my children?  So, after that thought sunk in (After a couple of months) I decided that I would start a blog.  One for each of my precious gems.  It's my hope that I never die too soon, but if I do - I will have been able to leave little pearls of wisdom behind for my children - to let them know that I loved them more than anything.

This is just the intro - and I hope that whoever reads this realizes -